![]() And because Dren ages rapidly, we're able to watch Elsa cycle through all the stages of parenthood, including the ugly teen years. But for a reluctant novice, Elsa takes to parenting with the kind of obnoxious zeal recognizable to anyone who has ever been in a new-mothers group. It gives us leeway not to worry too much about her fate if and when Dren should develop, say, talons and a stinger. which in the emotional parlance of mainstream moviedom makes her ripe for punishment. She christens it Dren ( nerd spelled backward), puts it in dresses and introduces it to the evil pleasures of high- fructose corn syrup.Įlsa is one of those women who don't want to have babies it would overcrowd their apartment, etc. Clive, it must be said, is sensible enough to want to kill the rapidly growing fetus that results, but Elsa insists they keep this half-plucked chicken with a human(ish) head alive. And you certainly will want to do this all secretly, without telling your boss Barlow (David Hewlett) or, in Clive's case, his dopey brotherlab assistant Gavin (Brandon McGibbon). ![]() I just ignored Clive and Elsa's lab talk, which tended toward statements like "It must be rogue elements junk genes pushing through," and concentrated on what delicious horror would come out of the incubator next.īecause, obviously, once you've made matching sets of elephant hoof penis babies, you'll want to move right to combining human and pig genes with perhaps a soupçon of bald eagle. This breakthrough lands Clive and Elsa presumably writer-director Vincenzo Natali is deliberately referencing Elsa Lanchester and Colin Clive, co-stars of The Bride of Frankenstein on the cover of Wired magazine and earns them the gratitude of some nefarious pharmaceutical corporation with plans to harvest Fred and Ginger's "proteins." Don't sweat the details of the weird science the movie certainly doesn't. ![]() (See TIME's 76 things to do, see and hear this summer.) They've spliced together various genes some porcine and grown a pair of hideous beasts called Fred and Ginger, which look like what might happen if an elephant foot and a freestanding penis could reproduce. (See the 50 best inventions.)Ĭlive (Adrien Brody, Oscar winner just in case you forgot) and Elsa (Sarah Polley, Oscar nominee) are the hot young stars of creepy genetic research. It's a sci-fi horror film, but no actual comedy has made me laugh as much this year as Splice . The movie is ridiculously over the top, inelegant and so defiantly crazy that it works, reminding you how fun gore and creatures that go bump (and grind) in the night can be. In the slyly cheesy Splice, a pair of married scientists blithely tromp through nature's domain, genetically engineering a human hybrid with the potential to be Frankenstein's Monster crossed with Rosemary's Baby. Follow is a special kind of exhilaration that comes from watching smart scientists do really dumb things.
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